2020 has proven to be an encouraging and discouraging year. In one year there cannot be all bad. When the 2019 COVID virus came at the U.S. with great force, robbing us of precious citizens, we watched in horror as those we love perished without notice. This brought great fear and with that chaos, great change. We began to reprioritize our lives, and in so doing, changed our perspectives. This brought an awakening in the understanding that we didn't need shopping therapy, but it was nice for those who needed constant interaction. For those of us comfortable in our skin and at home, this became an opportunity for inflection. What could we do better, think better, or act better? Self-checking and empathy rose to the surface as American's faced this pandemic. We hunkered down and spent precious time with family in our homes.
All that changed when one man abused his authority and hurt another man. The skin color was of different shades and because our MSM only tells half the story, per the intent to keep American's glued to the anguish, the country erupted in chaos again. Empathy for fellow man disappeared and hundreds of years old hatred and resentment reared its ugly head. American's who have never truly suffered any oppression were now telling light-skinned people they didn't have a right to live because of actions done too long ago to have any accountability for. The anger grew, tempers flared and the injustice of all the suffering of each of our citizens no matter the race or skin color bubbled to the surface into one giant pot of boil. The fight was on and continues.
I spent a great deal of time pondering my life, actions, and experiences. As a senior, middle-aged, light-skinned, blue-eyed, tall, blonde, thin woman, I became the brunt of all that was evil. Merely because of the way I look. I became an oppressor overnight. I became racist. I became the person who just needs to "die-off," and so everything I had fought for my whole life was simply erased because I became the target of hate from everyone of all skin colors. My life was threatened many times, and I hurt over the anguish I couldn't control nor could I reason with those who possessed the hate.
When I say that we all suffer, I say that with the full knowledge that I have suffered. Greatly. By the hands of both dark-skinned color and light-skinned colored people. I learned at an early age that accountability comes with self-reflection and each of us is quantified by our character. I sought out to improve mine. I believe I have spent a lifetime doing so. I give back to humanity daily. My life has a purpose, meaning and I spend most of my available time sharing my experiences.
Rage and hate are dominated by all races. As an example, I will tell you that I dated a man who's skin color was darker than mine. We dated many years. In that time his race and my race both chastized us, told us we didn't belong together, and made our lives hell. In the end, it was the shot that rang the truth. A light-colored man shot at us. A dark-colored woman tried to kill me with a knife. Both sides of the coin were angry, and our love crumbled in the wake of the hatred and demand we devide. To say that only one race has hatred is ignorant. To say that this pigment of the skin war is over is ignorant. I cannot and will not apologize for the guilt I do not carry, but I know many American's now realize maybe they condemn people by the color of their skin.
I have lost jobs due to diversity, and to color of skin. I've lost loans for school because of my skin color. I have lost many opportunities, but I was told at a young age that even though my skin is lighter, there are no programs to help me, I can do anything. I picked myself up out of the hood and traveled 1,200 miles from everyone I knew with $200 in my pocket to make a better life for myself. My life wasn't tragic, but I knew if I wanted the house, the car, and the life I sought I wasn't going to take no for an answer. So I didn't. Did I suffer the consequences of my ignorance? Absolutely! Did I learn? Absolutely.
These stereotypes are harmful. Muslims in this country are being bullied and tortured. Hispanics put into an economic standard no one else wants. Jewish people are thought to "just not get it" in certain circles. Middle Easterners are believed to be "dominant and controlling." White people are "evil" and so it continues. Every color has a label and every label is unjust. In this country, we have to realize that when someone stands and says, "I matter too," you bet your sweet potato they do. Every race, every person, every state, every city, everyone - everywhere. It's time American's think of our citizens as countrymen, not as a color. Maybe this division will bring that change. Amen 🙏
The plain reality of the situation is that I am not your enemy. Never have been. When you see me, try to see a woman who's been wrapped in despair, who's cried more tears than you can imagine, who has lived a life of torment, abuse, and tragedy. I have also had tremendous joy. My life is full, my actions pay my experiences forward. Maybe then you will see me as less than "privileged" and some of that hate that you feel can dissipate. I urge you to look at the brothers and sisters of your country anew. I ask you to talk, discuss, open up because we all want to be the best people we can be, and none of us likes to be lumped into a collection of the judgment. After all, isn't that what this is all about?
God bless us all. Every American. My heart bleeds for those in pain.
And the Lord was pleased with the aroma of the sacrifice and said to himself, “I will never again curse the ground because of the human race, even though everything they think or imagine is bent toward evil from childhood. I will never again destroy all living things."